I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
