I wish I only lived at night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
