I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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