why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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