just come out here and I will go home with you...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
