erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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