it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Please, let me fuck your mom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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