Me too!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
