I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
