Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
