It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
