Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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