I CAN MOONWALK!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
