I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ladies don't puke and tell
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize