Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
handjob tips. give me some.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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