omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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