He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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