I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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