i was rollin on her like bob the builder
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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