It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
