why didn't you poke me back
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
