The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
