Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
