If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
