You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
