i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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