so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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