I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize