Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
