Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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