Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
