I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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