why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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