you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
