Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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