A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
