you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
