this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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