Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
