we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
