I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
