areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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