that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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