dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm both gender and math confused
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
