i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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