i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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