She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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