I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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