Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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