i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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