I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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