Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
