Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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