he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This baby is an asshole
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Come share oat with me in your robe
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
