big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I skipped work to stalk him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
