You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
