I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
