I feel like abortions should bother me more
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
