The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
