and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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