no you cant smoke seaweed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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