Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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