Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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