Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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