There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
