I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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