Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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