Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
