Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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