i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize