They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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