We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
