This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
