I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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