# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
