Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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