we have pet lesbian snakes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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